Children need emotional safety but what is it and how do we create it? Maybe because my mom is a retired math teacher, I use this equation: Emotions + Thoughts = Actions. Easy, right? Hardly.
Creating the best equation for emotional safety takes an emotional pause on the adult's part, to thoughtfully consider the best equation or the best outcome or action on our part. When we're creating emotional safety we are thinking AND feeling at the same time. Depending on our own history and experience that may sound easier than it is.
The first part of the equation--emotions-- is important. If we know what we are feeling before we speak or act, we can accept where we're at. If we accept we are frustrated, lonely, exhausted, anxious we can think about what to say instead of reacting to those emotions. A frustrated mom telling her little one to go to bed might yell, an anxious mom might plead and an exhausted mom might fall asleep before they do:) If those three moms step back, realize their emotion the result will likely be different. The frustrated mom might say "mom's a little tired and frustrated; let's get ready for bed and have some snuggle time,' the anxious mom might say 'mom gets worried you won't have enough sleep so let's get started with some relaxation time,' and the exhausted mom, well, she might admit she's too tired to read and put on a recording of a book to fall asleep to.
If you struggle to label your own emotions or don't know what you're feeling until you do or say something you wish you hadn't, I have an MP3 download or audio c.d. designed to notice, understand and manage our own emotional ups and downs. Try it out, it's on the products page and called Opening Your Heart.
Until next time, I wish you the best for the rest of 2021, from my heart to yours, Amy